Pre-programming in our younger years are inevitable. Bad programming will really hold us back from doing anything which will lead to success. By eliminate this early age preprogramming one can achieve enormous success.
I know I have many early traumas which lead to development of the person I am today. One that really hold me bad is the fear of the loss of money.
What happened was, when I was young at the age when I was graduated and was started working, I began quickly develop habit to save money. When I saved about 5k that time, I met someone who promised to double or triple my saving. So, I was thinking about 15k, and that time I was very naive.
I sent to that person the money I earned hoping to gain back 15k, but after couple of days the person was no way to be located or contacted. I was searching and was in vain. I realized I was cheated and conned.
This experience programmed into my mind associating my bank account balance to losing the money. Everytime, when my account reached 5k, I will quickly spend it or do something with it. Because of so scared of history repeat again, I was always not able to save money.
This is really bad, and it is not easy to alter or change this mentality. Everytime I thinks of how my money might lost.
Now that I have identify the root cause of my behaviour. I will be able zoom into it and cure it. But it is not going to be easy, it might even be me needing to take counseling or enrol into programme to cure it.
Meanwhile I am doing this whenever I received my income, which is to quickly transfer it out to another account (which I seldom access) and it will autobuy trust units from the bank and grow my saving. This is the least I can do in order to protect it and I have an agent to help to manage it.
At least I can trust her to manage it and only once a while I will review it. Although this does not solve my fear, at least it’s a plan to avoid spending all of my earning.
Category: General, Incident
Tags: behaviour, change, cheated, con, early age, fear of losing money, money loss, programming, trauma, young age Leave a Comment
I think I should start asking rational questions to myself. Be prepared to ask the brutal questions about myself and start answering honestly.
I think it is very important I should know what I am trying to hide from others and what good does by doing certain things like hiding from true self.
Today, I realised one behaviour or habit that was cultivated since I’m young. It is the habit of not wasting things, be it food, electricity and water. But one may say what is so bad about not wasting? Well, I know why I am not able to slim down. I stuff in whatever just to clean the plate. I don’t like wasting food. This behaviour caused me to put on more weigh.
But habit like this takes time to eliminate . Sometime I have to rationalize whether it is bad or good.
Another thing was, I was said to be not thoughtful by my wife. She said I should have bought this and that for her, but my previous experience told me that if I am being clever, I would have been scolded.
Why? It’s like this, I bought things that I thought she would like, in the end I was scolded for buying things she doesn’t like, and not appreciating all the effort put in, so instantly my mind was programmed to becareful, and just no need to be so thoughtful as she won’t be grateful for all that I do.
So, instead of why not learn and understand what she likes and not likes, I took the shortcuts to just forget about it and save all the troubles.
So I think everytime I need to ask myself when certain things happened and be honest to answer myself so that the improvement can be gained.
I know this is a risky experiment, but my intention is obviously to serve people. I want to give my customers or the visitors of my site a faster access and faster page loading.
While meddling with this, I encountered numerous hiccups like the Mod Rewrite stuffs and involving giving certain access rights for the plugin to process.
I follow exactly what the instructions told me to do, and the errors showed with remedy given, I just tweak with whatever the plugin requested and when it’s done, it’s time to test it out.
At first, I got an error message of error establishing connection to database. I told myself, OMG, what have I done, then after reloading it, it was working thankfully.
But I didn’t notice the speed difference, I guess I have to monitor it for awhile and also to see if there are any strange behaviours with my blogs.
Hopefully, someone out there who encountered problem able to inform me. But then, if they really encountered it, they probably won’t be able to reach me as they won’t even see this message.
Anyway, for the better, I got to do this. Hope it’s ok.
Category: Wordpress Setup
Tags: access rights, behaviour, connection, database, errors, experiment, faster, hiccups, load, mod rewrite, monitor, plugin, risky, speed, strange, tweak, wp supercache One Comment
