I think I should start asking rational questions to myself. Be prepared to ask the brutal questions about myself and start answering honestly.
I think it is very important I should know what I am trying to hide from others and what good does by doing certain things like hiding from true self.
Today, I realised one behaviour or habit that was cultivated since I’m young. It is the habit of not wasting things, be it food, electricity and water. But one may say what is so bad about not wasting? Well, I know why I am not able to slim down. I stuff in whatever just to clean the plate. I don’t like wasting food. This behaviour caused me to put on more weigh.
But habit like this takes time to eliminate . Sometime I have to rationalize whether it is bad or good.
Another thing was, I was said to be not thoughtful by my wife. She said I should have bought this and that for her, but my previous experience told me that if I am being clever, I would have been scolded.
Why? It’s like this, I bought things that I thought she would like, in the end I was scolded for buying things she doesn’t like, and not appreciating all the effort put in, so instantly my mind was programmed to becareful, and just no need to be so thoughtful as she won’t be grateful for all that I do.
So, instead of why not learn and understand what she likes and not likes, I took the shortcuts to just forget about it and save all the troubles.
So I think everytime I need to ask myself when certain things happened and be honest to answer myself so that the improvement can be gained.